I would like to start this post by asking you, readers (if there are any), to not misinterpret the things I am going to express in the following paragraphs. I’d like to tower a DISCLAIMER that these are all my personal opinions, frustrations, thoughts, and realizations. I apologize in advance if you might get offended, know that it is not in my intention, but I just need to express whatever that is looming within myself.
Since the day I got acquainted with blogging, it has become one of my outlets where I can express my thoughts and hone my communication skills through writing. And yes it did! It built the trust I have within myself that I can write articles and share my experiences. I’ve been very passionate about traveling and sharing my experiences with other people. I’ve been traveling for years already. It was just this 2015 that I started travel blogging for the main purpose of immortalizing my travel memories and my experiences as I visit places. Yes! That was my core purpose on why I travel blog, that I may share my travel experiences to other people and to my future family, and for me to have something to look back on to when I get old. Since then, I started liking the thought of logging the happenings in my life especially my travels.
Back then, I blog whenever I have something that I wanted to share. Most of all, I blog whenever I just feel it. Blogging and at the same time getting inspired by the works of other travel bloggers I read online pushed me to pursue more on this craft. Then it came to my curiosity on how these bloggers that I’ve been looking up to know each other. Was it just pure coincidental online bump that they crossed reading each other’s articles and started following each other? Or was there something more? It was then I got introduced with Groups, Organizations, and Communities. It was a “Eureka!” moment for me. Yes! There are existing groups where you can meet fellow bloggers and chances to see them in person.
The thought of being in a community of people with the same craft gives me a sense of belongingness. It gave me the assurance and hope of learning and improving. And that everybody is treated like a family. Helping and guiding each other. I admit, for once I was ecstatic and I was like a kid and I was full of expectations and hopes. Indeed, I learned a lot of things that surely I wouldn’t even hear if I haven’t joined a group. To top that, I was able to make friends with other bloggers. But as I gradually learned things and got deeper into the blogging world, that was when I got devoured by the overwhelming number of things involved in this craft. Symbolically, it felt like I was standing in the middle of the city with too many eeking noises that I wanted to go back to my secluded room. SEO, statistics, analytics and more. These things are just making my head swell.
For once, I tried diving into the deeper world of blogging just to satisfy my curiosity. I joined programs and tried fitting in. Plunging deeper made me see more. I’ve seen the dark side of it. The dirty cheats and tricks, but to be fair, also the legit ones. Going deeper, I saw that there are competitions going on. Competition can really show someone’s real face. It reveals the real personality and attitude. Some are grinding on to me known. To be famous and popular, that is. There is nothing wrong with aiming to be famous as long as it has a deeper cause and not just for personal gain.
Fame is a diamond. It glitters but can also cut deep.
I’ve witnessed plenty of relationships torn apart because of the race for popularity. The pace is too fast that some can’t help but unknowingly step on to others to elevate and boost themselves, eventually tarnishing relationships. Smiling and laughing when the lights are on, but grudging and backstabbing when the curtain falls. Fame is a diamond, it can be alluring. But take it away and you are left with nothing but the relationships you have scathed.
Diving into the deeper realms of blogging, I got blinded. I was caught by the whirlpool that my world turned dark. To be fair, there are plenty of fishes underneath. Opportunities from side to side. You can even get paid for it. I mean no offense to the people who are making a living out of blogging, but losing my personal touch and opinion for the sake of money, increased statistics, and fame? That’s just not me anymore. I feel I was detoured. I’m getting derailed from the right track with my core reason on why I started blogging. It snapped into my mind that this isn’t the place I wanted to be. This isn’t my goal. So I took a time to rethink and reset.
Looking back on how my life was before I got into the deep waters of blogging, it was a laid back life. No stress, no worries, just love for the craft. No competition. No race. But that has changed even since I dipped my toe into the vast world of blogging. On the positive note, I learned a lot even it was just a quick dip. It also gave me a lot of realizations.
My interest in visuals brought me to the world of YouTube. From YouTube, I was able to harvest ideas and able to get to know resident people over the internet, especially in video content creation. For years passed, I’ve been following people over the internet and somehow inspired and influenced me to start my own. Since then I uncovered my passion for creating video contents. The process lying underneath. The planning, the editing, and the creative things ongoing behind.
I started planning on maintaining two channels (my blogging and vlogging) at the same time. I have laid out my ideas and shared it with my friends in hope of gathering support and opinions from them. Starting out another idea is not an easy thing. Executing is another matter. I have the concepts but I have no idea on how to start them. I’ve been looking for a support group that would serve as my platform in showcasing my ideas and concepts. I’ve been looking for tutorials and seminars that would teach me the basics of editing, content creations and such. Luckily, a set of my friends enticed me to join their organization as they might be conducting those things. I was enthusiastic upon hearing it for their organization is also composed of bloggers. Hitting two birds with one stone is a rare occasion. I’ve been contemplating whether I should join. Eventually, I did enlist my name. I was optimistic, thinking that I can give myself a signature of travel blogging and vlogging at the same time, within the organization. I wanted it to be my key distinction from the others. My brand. My identity.
I am not saying that I am the pioneer of vlogging and that the concept of vlogging started as mine. But as time progressed, almost everybody on the organization started doing vlogging as well. I lost the sense of uniqueness of what I was doing. I lost my brand. I lost my identity. I felt like my visualized track was taken away. It was a soft pill to swallow at first, but eventually, it felt like a hardened stone on my throat. I couldn’t take it anymore. The vision I had on being unique just suddenly faded. I lost track. I don’t know whether to continue or to stop and think of something new. Thinking of the effort and the ideas I already invested, I cannot just throw everything in the bin, but I was greatly demotivated and starting new isn’t easy.
I usually say that I am busy whenever someone asks me why I am not uploading any vlog entry anymore. But that’s a lie. The truth is, my motivation degraded. Passion is not something that can be turned off in an instant, motivation is. I was still passionate about creating video contents and video logging my travels, but the drive wasn’t there anymore. What even dragged me to the floor was the support I got from my core set of friends. I did not feel any from them. I understand we have different views and I respect that but in this present world, we need support to make us feel assured. It was then that I contemplated whether to continue or not.
I choose my passion.
On your knees you look up. Decide you’ve had enough
You get mad you get strong. Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand
With all that was happening, I took a short while to rethink, reform and re-evaluate. I contemplated on so many things. I was on an emotional roller coaster. I sought advises from my friends and asked questions for myself. Piece by piece I reassembled myself, I restructured my track, and I recomposed my visions. Reset. That was what I did.
I blog and vlog for mere passion. An extension for my ideas, an expression of creativity. For others, for the money and living. But for some, this is a race. A race to get on the top. A race to be known and to be on the pedestal. A race for popularity!
I came to realize that people do things for different reasons. We have different purposes behind every decision we make. And I came to accept these. Now I have decided to continue doing what I love and what I am passionate about. I choose to continue blogging and vlogging despite the things that I have witnessed and seen. At the end of it all, I chose my passion over several internal adversaries I had.